My name is Angel Garden and I’m a filmmaker and comedian. After my misadventures on Alicia Hamberg's blog and having spoken to my friend and colleague Keith who interviewed me for an article on our news site about it, we thought we'd let the matter rest… until someone new came onto the scene writing on Alicia H's blog under the name of "Shattered". She described her son's horrific experiences in a Steiner school in Australia some years ago:
"As the parent of a former waldorf student, I feel that this title is the only regret that I have in my life. The biggest mistake I ever made was enrolling my child at that place that I refuse to call a school. It was more like a recruitment agency for a cult.
My beautiful confident child who enjoyed creating games and songs, cooking and gardening and was able to hold an engaging conversation at the age of 4, came out of the school at the age of 9 in a very disturbed metamorphosis. Full of anxiety and post-traumatic stress and no confidence whatsoever.
The staff destroyed my child’s self esteem because they did not like his free spirit. Through verbal humiliation and physical punishment. Instead they praised those children who were quiet and unquestioningly compliant. My child told me that he was getting into trouble and did not understand why. I would question the staff about incidents that they would deny and they led me into a false sense of security telling me that the child’s perspective was different to what actually happened.
I was left feeling that my child was TOO sensitive and I was told not to worry and that it was a problem but not a big problem. This left me half believing my child and half believing the teacher, with the effect of blurring the boundaries of the reality of the situation. This also led to a huge loss of trust. My child thought that I trusted the teachers and started to not trust me.
Other children from this class left within 6 months for similar reasons, some who are being treated for depression 5 years later. Some are suicidal. My own child declared that life was not worth living at the age of 9 just after leaving the school. We visited a psychologist for over a year. We sometimes go back for related unresolved issues.
Although I and others have appealed to government departments, the school remains open. Children continue to be abused. I believe that not all waldorf schools are like this. I know that children can emerge from some waldorf schools as balanced individuals.
However, this school is dangerous in my opinion. It is lead by a college of teachers who were taught by delusional corrupt figureheads who are working on the selection of new student members. These gullible students eventually marry into the community, they will often marry individuals who were previously their teachers and they in turn also become the new teachers. This is how the pattern has continued for 30 years."
Shattered – we were so lucky that our children weren’t hurt in this way (we were involved for several years) but I’ve heard many similar stories. To say you were doing your best at the time is trite, I know, but you couldn’t have known what you were getting into.
I hope things are better from now on, and good luck to your child.
This made my blood boil. As you know, this woman who is so friendly and supportive at the outset, turned on us on a dime and refused to ever tell us what we had done that was so wrong that it deserved hurting my child all over again… and here she was, comforting a new "recruit".
So I decided to bring the matter up for discussion and posted anonymously on Alicia Hamberg's blog. Since our name was mud there and anonymity so praised, I thought I'd give it a go.
Here's what I wrote:
@Thetis Mercurio*
“we were so lucky that our children weren’t hurt in this way...”
that might explain why you appear to have less than zero concept of the damage that you yourself can and have caused to young children that have been similarly hurt by Steiner education, by making multiple direct approaches to their families including inviting the children to stay to try and ‘re-engage’ with schooling and then simply dumping them without even giving a reason!
It’s so easy for you to pontificate, in your anonymity – but families who have suffered deserve to be forewarned about your silver tongue and the way any small problem can make you simply refuse to communicate further without giving a reason, in the face of reasonable entreaty, and to the further detriment of children’s mental health.
Given that your husband works in mental health, it seems that you must both be quite aware of the potential negative effects of your actions and inactions, yet you continue to protect your own secret identity, and your own interests, even when it hurts others, including children.
No wonder you want to remain anonymous!
“but you couldn’t have known what you were getting yourself into.”
Of course you would say that, because your self-interest appears to govern everything and you haven’t seen fit to warn people about the specifics of a school in case it would inconvenience your own lifestyle.
In fact your own behaviour puts you in the scary category of someone prepared to approach other’s children, claiming to do so out of understanding, initiating multiple and unsolicited contacts designed to “help” a vulnerable family, then failing to take responsibility for your own actions, suddenly refusing to communicate, and expecting those you have deemed “worthless” to simply shut up and go away.
The whole experience, from shiny promises and welcoming embraces, to balking at any small problem, shutting down and refusing to communicate is eerily similar to the way that Steiner schools appear to treat people they don’t like, as illustrated above by Shattered.
Having tried by all reasonable means to communicate with you, via text, email and phone, it sadly appears that this is the only avenue left open, as you refuse to take responsibility, yet you are clearly continuing to try and entice others into your ‘safety net’.
When people who have been through those kinds of experiences come to places like this, they are vulnerable to offers of help and understanding and your glib reassurances may create a totally false sense of safety about you which can further hurt those families, including their children while you anonymously skip off to comment and tweet.
Anon
Notice that I still wasn't outing her. I didn't really see the point. What difference would it make if you knew her real name anyway. Her actions would be the same whether she was known as Thetis Mercurio* or some other title, real or imagined.
The post didn't last long. It was gone in about 20 minutes and I doubt if anyone saw it aside from Alicia Hamberg. She added a comment saying she was putting my message in moderation until she'd had a chance to speak to Thetis Mercurio*.
She then further edited that comment saying that she was removing my message because she didn't want to deal with this "crap". I can't remember exactly what she said because the next time I visited the page, her own comment had been removed, leaving no trace of what happened, no evidence of the censorship.
But what could Alicia Hamberg and Thetis Mercurio* do? Would they come clean about what Thetis Mercurio* had done to my family? Unlikely because it would throw into question everything that had happened to us on her site recently, including the very public mobbing, during which Thetis Mercurio* had kept completely quiet, not even correcting things which she knew herself to be completely false. Would they lie about what happened? Again, that would be difficult because if the truth ever came out it would completely destroy their credibility… so, they did the only thing they could do: they banned me from being able to comment on her site.
I even had the honour of having a whole new post named after me.
Notice in it Alicia Hamberg says that "Angel Garden now complains about having been deprived of her right to free speech"… but I hadn't complained. Here's what I'd said:
Censorship!
No-one is even to know the comment ever existed. Wow. Way to go freedom of speech!
Interestingly, the entire behaviour of these so-called Steiner critics is so similar to what the Steiner school did to us that it's scary: both welcomed us with open arms, both failed to honour agreements, both got rid of us when we pointed out matters that were just a little too difficult for them deal with, and both mobbed us when we said things they didn't want to hear.
No critical thinking, just spreading lies as truths to convince others of just how wrong we were and how innocent they were.
But if it's true that the very people you turn to for help after having been battered by Steiner education are just as bad as the place you just came from, how safe can any of the victims truly be? Maybe this explains why despite the fact that critics have been working for years, hardly anyone outside their little circle know of the problems with Steiner schools, even to the point that Thetis Mercurio* keeps making these "you couldn't have known" comments.
Going back to Shattered, she also asked for help: "If anyone has any inspired ideas on how to shut this joint I would greatly appreciate any suggestions."
I've noticed that no one's come forward with any suggestion at all, not even an encouragement from the main posters to name the school. Looks like it's just another anecdote that'll be filed away and forgotten while the Steiner movement accumulates more and more innocent victims that will turn up, and some Steiner critics rush forward to welcome them, pouring on the sympathy whilst lamenting that those poor parents and children "couldn’t have known what you were getting into".
It's getting harder to find the comedy in here but I'll keep looking and when I do find it, it’ll make a cracking documentary!
* NOTE: since writing this article, the person behind the anonymous avatar Thetis Mercurio has revealed herself to be Melanie Byng.
* NOTE: since writing this article, the person behind the anonymous avatar Thetis Mercurio has revealed herself to be Melanie Byng.
